Wonderland

Ah. I've been enjoying the past few days. I requested them off of work. Hadn't had anything to do except everything! haha. I decided to not care, and just seize the moment. It all started Friday night.

Earlier in the week, my fellow coworkers and I were discussing a much needed party night before the start of school. We couldn't figure out why we hadn't done such things before, since we all are friends and get along pretty well. We decided to have one soon. Friday. :)

After work the 5 of us met up at Frank and Tony's. Two of them had been there for a few hours. (They wanted to get a head start and also reserve a table.) It was the first time I had actually gotten a table at this bar. It was lovely. The waitress had gotten us a drink order, then we didn't see her again for 45 minutes. We noticed that our buzz was slowly declining the longer we waited for a drink, so we got pro-active about it... 4 shots at a time. haah.

Eventually we decided that we needed a walk, so we walked down to a different bar (probably my favorite one), 1899. We had a shot there and went back to Frank and Tony's. During the walk back, I announced that I really wished Steve had come out to join us. We went in, grabbed our table again, and got some more drinks. Then randomly I look up and got excited. Steve was there! I guess he had been there earlier, just didn't see us. Perfect timing. I can't remember what all we talked about, but the conversation was filled with laughter. The bar closed and we all piled into Steve's car and headed to Sheetz. We had to go there because they have awesome food and my coworker had never been there before. Then we went back to the bars' parking lot and shot the breeze while eating our food. I chased a possum who was on the top of a fence. I thought it was a kitten and wanted to pet him. It didn't happen.. haha.. but it was fun talking to him. He was a very kind animal. We hung out until about 4 am. Quotes from the evening: Click, click, boom; Come, come my lady, Sugar, butterfly, baby. haha.

Steve and I woke up around 8 to go get our books at school. Then we met Vladi for breakfast at IHOP. He met us at our place to meet Chanel. She reminded him of his cats when they were younger. They're so big now! I wish that I could freeze Chanels growth. haha. I love my little baby cat. No matter how big she gets though, she'll still be my baby cat. Later that day we went to Greg and Kathleen's anniversary party. It was fun. Met some new people and talked to friends. We played hillbilly golf and later I beat up Steve. Well, tried. haha. I was trying to tackle him. I got my bull horns on (complete with a french mustache) and ran at him. He didn't move, I fell to the ground. haha. Good times.

Woke up at 2pm today. Went to the gym with Steve and then went school shopping for last minute items Steve needed. Came home and watched a really good movie. Phoebe in Wonderland. I really recommend you watching it.

Now in the early hours of the morning, I'm sitting in my adirondack chair outside listening to the sounds of the night. Crickets, the waterfall from across the street, and some chirping thing in the trees. I don't think it's a bird, but who knows. It may be a bat. I'm admiring the stars and the sky. It's a perfect sky. A slight view of the clouds with sparkles through it. Parts are clear. It's beautiful. I don't even mind the hum of our pop machine in the garage. It almost adds to the calmness. There's a slight breeze. I just love the sound of the wind rustling through the leaves. I also love the sound of my fish wind chime. Its pretty perfect. It doesn't overcome the rest of the night sounds...

I start class tomorrow. So now, my friends, I shall sleep. I think I should take a few days off more often.

Hot Hot Heat...

Gosh. I really don't like the mugginess of summer. The past two days have been horrible. At least yesterday I was at work for most of the day, and then took a quick dip in the Lake with a friend. It was a good visit. Hadn't seen her in awhile. It always fascinates me how we can always just pick things up where they left off, no matter how much time has passed in between our visits. It's going to be harder to see each other soon, for I have a busy upcoming semester. Hopefully I will survive with everything in tact...

Today, though, was supposed to be different. It was supposed to be a wake-up-early-and-go-get-active day with Irene also in attendance. Yeah, the only action I got was extra sleep and moving my thumbs on the X-box controller. I'm not sure whats up with me lately, I just don't want to get up. Maybe it's the heat or lack of motivation. Maybe even a combination of both. I feel that I let things go too easily. I always say instead of do. When push comes to shove, I never admit to myself that I could actually do what I say instead of just shrugging it off....

SO! From this point on, I'm going to go get 'em Tiger:
-I will not be hard on myself when things don't go as planned.
-I will stay positive.
-I will do what I say.
-I will not complain about doing so.
-I will not be self-defeating.
-I will do my best.
-I will!

I will do all this while maintaining my sanity! (And hopefully love and friendships too. I'd hate to loose either.) I just hope that people will be patient with me, and realize that I am going to have a LOT, I mean... A LOT... going on. 6 classes and 2 jobs. I'm not sure about the two jobs though. I hope to have 2 jobs. Although I know it will be hard (that's what she said), I look forward to the challenge. I'm excited to start classes...

My fall classes:
Economics, Sociology, Health Fitness, Animal Biology, Painting, and Color Photography.

My Ideal Fall Schedule: (Tenative)
Sunday: 11am -8pm World Market

Monday: 9:30am -10:45 am Economics
11am- 12:15pm Lunch/Study Time
12:30pm -1:45pm Sociology
2pm-3:10pm Health Fitness
3:10pm -4:45pm Dinner/Study Time
5pm -10pm World Market

Tuesday: 9am- 11:50am Animal Biology
12pm -1:30pm Lunch/Study Time
1:30pm -4:10pm Painting
4:15pm -4:45pm Dinner Time
5pm -10pm World Market

Wednesday: 9:30am -10:45 am Economics
11am- 12:15pm Lunch/Study Time
12:30pm -1:45pm Sociology
2pm-3:10pm Health Fitness
3:10pm -4:45pm Dinner/Study Time
5pm -10pm World Market

Thursday: 9am- 11:50am Animal Biology
12pm -1:30pm Lunch/Study Time
1:30pm -4:10pm Painting
4:15pm -6pm Dinner Time/ Study Time / Work at the Photolab
6pm -10pm Color Photography

Friday: NICODAY! My day to do things around the house. Maybe hanging out with Irene (if she's not working). Cooking a nice meal for Stevie. We could have family over and make it a party or we could just chillax. Cuddle and a movie! :) Could work during the day if needed.

Saturday:Split day between Photolab and World Market

I hope that this works out and everyone will be happy. :)

TO DO (Before School)
-Organize Hall Closet
-Clean off Dresser
-Clean Room/Organize room
-Clean Bathroom
-Laundry
-Clean Kitchen
-Vaccum

Bleh..

So. I'm back in the states. Have been for a little over a week now. Just as I thought I was ready to leave Paris, I wish I was back there. I feel so sad about it. hahah. If only I could have found my French love that could have convinced me to give everything up to stay with him. *SIGH*

I know, I know. You're sitting there laughing because you and I both know that wouldn't have happened. But hey, a girl can dream can't she!?

Anyway. There was so much I wanted to post about France and all my experiences. But my stories don't capture the essence of it. I love to tell people stories, but sometimes I fear that I may bore them. I get excited by the little things that happen within my adventures. Some just don't understand. I hate the feeling when people are bored. I feel very different though. Right now, sad. haha. I know that I probably won't get back there. And that, makes me very very very sad. Tres triste. haha.

I love how the French are so protective of their culture... I wish Americans were. I loved how they didn't overly dress, but totally didn't under dress for an occasion. It was just right. I wish Americans did that. I'm trying to incorporate it in my daily dressing, but I feel like I'm over dressing. I don't like getting looks from people.

What I hoped to happen when I came home from France, was that I would have magically changed into something that I wanted to change into. (haha. Total run-on sentence that isn't clear.) I was hoping that all my insecurities and problems would have dissipated and turned into something lovely. Which, I do fear that I still hold most of my insecurities, but I feel more secure about them. I was hoping to be more motivated about getting myself together. On the contrary, I feel more secure about doing what I want.. Which at this given moment, doesn't seem to be much on the track of 'getting myself together'

I was hoping that maybe I would have had an epiphany about life and what it is exactly that I want to do. It's shed some light on some things that I really do want to do (ie: learn french, go back to paris...)There are so many things that I want to do, that I just cannot bear the thought of having to choose between them. (There is also a motivation issue. I can mentally motivate myself, but that doesn't mean that my body will wake up on time...) The things I want most to do would tear my world apart and put me in uncomfortable grounds. And there would be no definite at the end of the day. I may or may not have a job, but I for sure wouldn't have my friendships and my relationship. It'd be easier to do nothing. But that too, would eventually eat me apart. Because I could never just do nothing....

I feel like I'm crazy! haha. I just want to have it all figured out. I know this is impossible. I just can't accept that things will be alright without knowing what will happen. I don't know that I'll ever graduate because I just cannot make up my mind. But I want to teach. Like you have no idea. But I don't want to be horrible at it, and I don't know that I'll have a job. I'd hate to spend all this time and money into something that I won't even get a job in. Then get stuck working in fast food barely able to pay my bills. I want to move to France. Become a waitress and bask in the beauty of Paris. Everything was beautiful. Even the bums and the urine stench. haha. (OK, maybe not the urine stench...)

I was supposed to hang out with a friend today. She bailed on me yesterday. I could have hung out with Irene, but like I said. I'm feeling very sad. It feels like a horrible break up. haha. DAMN YOU PARIS! haha. So in between my bursts of tears, I've been watching French films. haha. The last one I watched struck a chord. It was called 'Broken English'. Melvil Poupaud is so cute in this movie. I loved his French charm. He could be the vision of my French knight in shinning armor. haha. I know, dream on. haha. Gosh. I need a puff party. haha.